Wednesday, July 22

The meeting with the genetic counselor went well as can be expected when one is faced with making a heavy decision. I'm not the one who would be tested so I don't feel comfortable writing more about it.

As it stands, I am working through the reality that I'll most likely have my ovaries removed after I have my last child. That is, if I have more children. As far as family planning goes, it's best to have all children before 35, the doctor says. I am 30. This is not many more years. I want to do it because my chances of ovarian cancer are greater than most--my grandmother had and died from ovarian cancer. Because of my mom's previous health history, she is cleared from the disease. But I don't know if she would have gotten it had things been different. Ovarian cancer is extremely hard to detect. Once it is detected, it is almost always fatal.

This isn't the same as having my appendix or gall bladder removed. This is a womanly part which makes children. It's a surgery with risks involved. Does the risk of cancer outweigh the surgical and hormonal and procreative aspects? Certainly, but it is not an easy decision to think about. Forcing myself into menopause at a young age... Making myself infertile... And, while no one will see the effects, my body will be different. How far should one go to try to live forever, to skirt the chance of cancer? Perhaps I should accept that I am a mutant of nature, accepting the fate of death. I'm not afraid of death, you know.

Is all this too personal for you? Thoughts?


Oh, and that tree is from Heritage Park. I went there the first time I took my new camera for a test drive. It was bitterly cold! But beautiful.


scott said...

Wow. This is a kind of scary post. I'm glad you said how you are feeling. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. I don't want you to die young, and I want us to be able to watch our family grow.

DaddyMan said...

I chose to be infertile for the safety of Dale. She has several blood disorders, so any time they go hunting around in there, there's a risk something could go wrong and she'd clot up and well...clots aren't a good thing. While she could have had her tubes tied when having the twins, we decided not to press our luck.

So once the girls were 3 or 6 months old, I got snipped. Sure, my procedure can be reversed, but it isn't a terribly risky procedure.

For me, family is life and life is family. I say do what it takes to make sure you and Scott can grow up and be a dirty couple old fogies in the retirement home with Dale and I. ;) We'll need you two around when we gab about the virtual reality DnD. :P