Thursday, October 9

One of the newest blogs I read is The Kerrie Show. She writes about the "7 freaky things i do". One of them is having a family bed, otherwise known as cosleeping. Anyway, yes, we have O sleep in bed with us. Before he was born I thought, "No way is a baby going to sleep in my bed and interrupt my sleep." And then he was born. And no one was going to take him away from me. Really, how do women allow their babies to sleep in those plastic rolly-things at the hospital? How can you send your babe away to the nursery?

Soooooooo...the babe sleeps with us at night. When my mom or someone else gets on to me about it, I look at S and ask him, "Are you sure it's okay with you?" He tells me it's just fine. I sigh because he's the best husband ever.

The point of telling you this is that I was wondering why it's such a "freaky" thing to do. So.Ci.Et.Y says it is, but why? I mean, people sleep with their dogs and cats. Why can't people sleep with their babies? Come on, people, give me some answers.

5 comments:

Rebecca said...

Hi K-
Since we were just talking about this with you the other day...
My main issue with the idea of the family bed is the loss of intimacy with your partner. Sure its fine when they're still a baby and they don't realize if anything is going on around them, but what about when they get older? And I'm not only referring to sex...what about that time at the end of the day when its just you and your partner and you can just talk and wind down? I know these are the humble opinions of a non-mother, but I think that maintaining a close and intimate relationship with your partner is of great importance to the entire family.
Do you know how long you plan to do the family bed? I am in no way trying to be judgmental, because I see the advantages of having the baby near at night...but I have witnessed this practice being drug out until the child is in grade school, at which point I DO think there's something wrong with it. It just seems like it'd be hard to put an appropriate cut-off date to it. I'm interested to hear your thoughts and rebuttal!

DaddyMan said...

Both of us being over six feet tall doesn't help, nor does the fact I'm attached to a six foot hose all night. It wasn't too much of an option for us.

But that doesn't mean we didn't have the bassinet bedside for several months, or even now snuggle quietly and listen to the suckling noises they make over the baby monitor. We've even stopped movies just to hear them moan and coo at night.

Do I think there's anything wrong with it? No. There is nothing wrong being attached to your children, it's a lifestyle choice.

Do what makes YOU happy. Society can say whatever it wants, and any person who gives you the screwed up facial expression when you mention it...relish it. They might think it's odd, but You know the benefits in Your family, and that makes all the difference in the world

DaddyMan said...

As regards to intimacy issues, as new parents, it isn't an issue.

The issue is having enough sleep and energy to be intimate. It's hard to be intimate getting 2 and 3 hours of sleep at a stretch.

So when the energy isn't there, do you condone the little tyke that's causing the issue, or do you embrace him or hers and enjoy the unconditional love?

And let's face it, ANY job worth doing is worth doing, right?

Erica said...

It is totally not weird to sleep with your baby--it's natural! Babies are meant to be cared for--and to stay close to their parents so they feel safe and loved. So, whatever works for you is what you should do. Yeah, I'm sure it's hard when they get older and they have to learn to sleep on their own (hard for the babies and the parents), but I'm sure sending them off to kindergarten and then later, college, is hard on everyone, too. Just because you have to wean them eventually, doesn't mean you shouldn't do whatever you can/desire to relish in their babyhood. For example, it can be hard to wean babies to solids--does that mean they shouldn't be nursed when they are infants? Of course not--life is a series of new trials and new experiences...all to be cherished and enjoyed and then it's onto the next new experience. Babies are awesome for philosophy :)

Harper Family said...

K,

Co-sleeping didn't work out for us, but I do think it is a family decision. I used to be the hard-core "no kids in the bed ever" person, but since baby J came along, I've changed. As you know, J is a big man, and our bed is only a queen. He was so worried about rolling over onto the baby at night, that he wasn't getting any sleep. Any time he rolled over, he would wake up to check where the baby was, and any movement from baby J would wake him up, too. So our cuddle in bed time has become mornings. When baby J first wakes up (he's pretty much an alarm clock baby--wakes up every morning about 7:15am), we feed him his bottle in our bed, cuddling with us.
The other factor in the decision for me has been baby J's mobility at bedtime. He moves around a lot while he's winding down to go to sleep, which is usually around 8pm. I can't stay in there with him very often, (teenager A usually requiring some attention) nor am I ready for bed at that time, so I would worry about him rolling off our bed. Especially lately, as he has a fascination with our alarm clocks, but absolutely no regard for the edge of the bed. I feel safer having him in the crib. So at nights he sleeps in a crib in his own room right across the hall from us, and we keep both bedroom doors open so we can hear him if he wakes up.
So I say, if you are all getting the sleep you need, good for you! Go for it!

L